Before Someone Gets Hurt

I've gotten quite a few new readers as of late, and before we commit to a long-term relationship, there are a few things you should know about me.

I do not have the kind of skin or hair that looks Victoria's Secret model fab when I roll out of bed. If you want to do something with me or hang out, you're going to have to give me a heads up. Girlfriend needs some time.

I watch a lot of TV. If you hear me say, "I can't. I have plans," there is a good chance those "plans" are to sit on my couch and watch TV. For that, I will never apologize.

I'm a wine snob. I believe boxes should be filled with gifts, not wine.

I'm not too good for Target.

I am not a foodie. As much as I love wine, I don't eat fancy, elaborate meals on the reg. I'm more of a cereal and sandwich kind of girl.

I'm very excitable. My husband calls it dramatic; I call it full of life. Most of my sentences begin with "Oh my god, guess what?!"

I might die of diet coke poisoning one day. Be sure to tell the medical examiner to check for that.

I treat my dogs like humans. To be honest, they're cooler than most people I know. Including me.

So, there you have it. I just thought I should be upfront about who I am. If you can't handle it; it's best we end things now before someone gets hurt.