Days like today

It's been exactly 2 months since Kris & I left for our Napa trip. That doesn't sound like very long ago, does it? To me, it seems like an eternity. You see, as much as I love Napa (and I do love Napa)it's not ever really a vacation when we visit. Kris is in "work mode" whether he realizes (or admits) it or not. It's not a time for us to slow down and enjoy one another. We're hopping from one appointment to the next, and it's exhausting. Sure, the food and the wine are plentiful, but it's not what I consider good quality time.

We're scheduled to visit Washington and Oregon wine country in September. Don't get me wrong, I'm very excited for this trip because I've been to neither Washington nor Oregon. But make no mistake, this will not be a vacation. Kris will be "work mode" and I'll be in "best behavior" mode. We won't be alone. Another couple, who work with Kris, is making the trip, as well. It will be fun, but I'm not counting on it being restful or Kris and I getting any time to ourselves. And I'm desperate for some time alone with him. Some good quality time.

I need a break from "Jessica the lawyer" and "Kris the country club manager." I need some time to be "Jessica and Kris the couple." Both Kris and I work way too much. We spend way too much time apart, and it's hard. Very hard. One of my biggest fears is that we'll get too comfortable with this lifestyle and our relationship will suffer. To combat that, we try to do things together when we can. Even if it's just watching television or sharing a meal. It doesn't happen often, but when it does it just fills my cup. More than Kris knows, I'm sure.

So I cling to moments when it's just us. I don't think he understands it or how much I need that time. I'm not saying he doesn't care, I'm just saying, as a guy, I don't think it bothers him like it bothers me. He doesn't get it when I say "Well, I'd rather it just be the two of us." It doesn't come from a place of not wanting to do anything with anyone else, it comes from a place where I'm a wife needing my husband. There are days when the only word we say face-to-face are "goodnight" and "goodbye." Sometimes, I need more.

I'm all about having personal or alone time. I think a healthy relationship with yourself is vital to having healthy relationships with others. We all need to dance around naked without the fear of being interrupted. But on days like today, I'd rather be with my husband.