Dear Jessica

My 30 Before 30 List includes writing a letter to myself to open when I'm 40. I haven't yet done that, but I thought writing a letter to my 20 year old self could help get me started. I mean, to know where you're going you have to know where you've been, right?

Dear Jessica,

Let's just get straight to the point, shall we? He's not worth it. Break up with him immediately. He'll tear you down and break your spirit, and it won't work out any way. You'll never be the same, but you'll find someone better in a place you least suspect and when you're not looking.

Don't be so hard on yourself. You're OK just the way you are. Don't ever believe anyone who tells you differently. Stop caring about what everyone else thinks. Once you start living for you, you'll be so much happier. Learn to let things go. It's OK to walk away from things simply because they don't serve you any longer.

You're not old. Not even close. Stop thinking you are. The older you get the more you'll realize just how young you are. Take a chance, do something crazy. Don't work for your dad for that year before law school. Things will be fine if you do, but you'll wish you took a chance and did something fun and exciting.

Get to know yourself. You'll spend a lot time with you over the course of your life, and it's worth it know who you are. You're worth it. Stop being afraid and stop playing it safe. The things you think matter don't matter at all. They never did and they never will.

My best advice to you is to be present, be kind, be graceful and gentle when you can, but don't take anyone's shit, except when you deserve it. Learn to know when you deserve it.